In other words – when you are arguing with your partner, instead of telling him how stupid he is, try to throw in an “I can see what you’re saying,” or, “ok, that makes sense.” This helps keep your relationship in the safe zone and out of the relationship in trouble zone. Better yet, shoot for an even higher ratio, like 10:1! The take home message is to keep your positivity 5X or greater than your negativity when you are arguing with your partner. Gottman is able to pin down exactly how much negativity a relationship can tolerate before heading into the danger zone of a relationship in trouble is pretty amazing – and helpful. This may be obvious, but I think the fact that Dr. What this means is that couples in happy relationships tend to be much more forgiving and understanding of each other, even during conflict, significantly moreso than those couples headed for break-up. That ratio in couples who get divorced is much less – 0.8:1 or less, so there is greater negativity than positivity in similar conflicts. Gottman and his colleagues found that in stable relationships, the ratio of positive to negative during conflict is 5:1, which means there is 5 times as many positive interactions than negative ones in stable couples when they are in conflict. The goal is to keep the scale in favor of how positive we can be. What counts is how much negativity there is in relation to positivity.

There is a place in every relationship for anger, hurt and disgust.Īfter all, we’re only human and we all screw up and do things that piss each other off. Let’s face it – all couples, happy and otherwise – have negative feelings in their relationships. The Warning Signs of a Relationship In Trouble: 1.) Negativity significantly outweighs positivity Awareness is key – so talk to your partner about your concerns and see if you can do something about it. I know you are busy and may not have time to read his books, so I want to give you a little summary of the red flags that he’s found so that you can see if you are dealing with them in your relationship.īy the way – if you do have time, I highly recommend his book “The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work” – it’s a quick and easy read and offers some great information.įirst off, if you are experiencing any of these ‘symptoms’ of a relationship headed toward disaster, fear not. Over the years, he has researched countless couples and has been able to predict with surprising accuracy which relationships survive and which fail. Therefore biodiversity, a key element in the survival of life on earth, is lost.John Gottman, PhD, is a leading psychologist in the area of marriage and relationships.

In nature everything is connected, when a species is extinguished, the complete ecosystem is altered. The consequences of animal extinction is very serious and in many cases, causes irreversible damage to the health of the planet and humans. And unfortunately, all of these are taking place and controlled by man. The survival of hundreds of species has been threatened thanks to factors such as: the drastic alteration of the ecosystem, excessive hunting, illegal trafficking, habit destruction, global warming and many more. However, the responsibility and influence that we humans have in these processes is increasing. While it is true that some animals adapt better than others to new ecosystems, this constant competition eventually results in the disappearance of animal and plant species. Seen from a scientific point of view, extinction is a natural phenomenon that has occurred since the beginning of time. The complex here does not lie in the term, but in the reasons why and the subsequent consequences of this decline. By definition the concept of extinction is very simple, a species that is in danger of extinction is an animal that is about to disappear as there are very few inhabiting the planet.

Im in danger